Interesting Facebook Status Updates (1)
- Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
- Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
- No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.
- Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
- Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
- Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.
- I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!
- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
- A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
- Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.
- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
- How did Noah survive with those two mosquitoes, was there like a pint of blood for them?
- The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
- By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.
- We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour
- Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- I went to see my doctor. “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?” He said “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”
- Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
- Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
- The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
- There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
- How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
- Facebook account for sale, Friends included.
- I drink to make other people interesting. – “George Jean Nathan”
- A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
- A good example has twice the value of good advice..
- Bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t reach anywhere until you change it.
- The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep scratching.
- Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently.
- The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
- In 2013 I’m going to sit back, watch the movie 2012 and laugh..
- Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
- The best thing about being me, I’m a limited edition…there are no other copies!
- You`ve got two choices; you can either sit and cry, or spread your wings and fly.
- If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
- War doesn’t determine who’s right, it determines who’s left.
- Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
- If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it’s one of two things, either a new girl, or a new car.
I invented number 44..I swear!
Continue inventing others for next batch.
the site, very nice and meaningful, keep it up
doing a great job, keep up the work going.
this article certainly will help me to start up my own blog.